Choose Your Hard

I saw a post on social media not too long ago that started with the words "Choose Your Hard". It had me contemplating on a serious note.

If we do not choose our illnesses and the repercussions of said sicknesses, do we still have a choice in the "hard"? The simple answer is....Yes.

I know what your thoughts are, there is no choice in any of this.....well let me throw something to you that maybe was not in your process before.

Everyday I wake up and choose for the better.

No, I didn't choose the heartache that comes with the neverending worry of will my son live well into his 60's, will my daughter ever get to do the "normal" things a 14 year old can do, the worry that leads my mind to places I don't want to go.

The choice of having the path that was given to me is not within my power but, it is my choice to not lay down and let the negative control our lives.

I choose to eat better(mostly, sometimes I eat chocolate, bread or drink wine), I choose to let my children know their choices, I choose to work with the negative thoughts and turn them into something that helps make our daily lives a small bit better for the next day.

I try to work on these choices daily for mine, my husband and my children's lives to be bearable.

As an example; my son's latest infusion consisted of him bailing, begging me to stop the infusions and me laying out exactly how much these infusions have helped him not just to survive but, to actually LIVE, read that again...... How could I tell an 11 year old child to just make this choice??

I felt like the worst, unsoft, uncaring, awful Mom of all time.

I walked to the bathroom in the infusion center and cried, because this is HARD!

Should I have let him give up and take him home where his body would eventually break down to the point of no longer being alive? No! I choose my hard that day and so this goes, everyday I wake up and choose my hard.

Some days my hard is resting and not doing anything at all. That is hard for me but, I know it's necessary.

Some days I have to push my children so they will see their limits and choose their hard. That is a difficult dance to walk, I still have to make that path work for us.

Everyday is hard even if you don't live our version of lives.

Quiting something that's awful for you is hard, but allowing it to take over your life is hard.

Working towards something is hard, not wanting to go further because you're scared is hard.

These are the things that everyone deals with and it is all hard so......what will your choice be today?

CHOOSE YOUR HARD